Summary of 2015

Hey there it’s me again.

It’s Christmas day and I have done lots of present opening and eating and tidying and have managed to get through the day so far. It’s really hard still getting all these cards saying ‘to my daughter/sister/niece’. I’m hoping next year will be easier and my family will start accepting me as Liam.

I found this on tumblr and thought today would be a great time to answer these questions! Feel free to do these yourself or see just the questions on my tumblr promised-liam.tumblr.com

1: What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?
A lot of things, the most rewarding was starting to look after children at a nursery and child minder’s. I also started DBT which I’d only just heard of this time last year!

2: Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t remember the resolutions I made, but yes, next year I will be making some goals I will keep track of to hopefully increase the likelihood of me actually keeping to them 😛

3: Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, a family friend to a little boy

4: Did anyone close to you die?
Sadly also yes, my great aunty ❤

5: What countries did you visit?
Nowhere except the UK this year, where I live

6: What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
A lot more confidence to be myself

7: What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 3rd – the day group started again after the 2 week break, there were 5 new people and I had an instant connection and love for all the people there
December 7th – my birthday which was incredibly exciting and had lots and lots of happiness in it, something there hasn’t been much of this year

8: What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Starting a job at a nursery and also just getting through this year without having to have high security inpatient treatment

9: What was your biggest failure?
My biggest failure was when I was at my illest. It was the fact that my mum couldn’t sleep because she was scared I would kill her and I couldn’t sleep because I was scared she would kill me. My mum believed that during my worst long episode of paranoia that I’d ‘be that kid on the news that killed all their family because they were mentally ill’. I’m so ashamed the thought even entered her mind because of my behaviour

10: Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes, this year has been the hardest struggle with mental illness but its also had some less worse points and I’m satisfied with that, it feels like things are still moving forwards if not up or down

11: What was the best thing you bought?
The Christmas presents I chose for my family, and also for myself a Gryffindor hat and a unicorn purse

12: Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My own actually. In the recent weeks/month I have been incredibly skilful and I’m very proud of that

13: Whose behaviour made you appalled?
My dad’s inappropriate, rude and ignorant comments and jokes on mental illnesses when we were talking about my friends at group

14: Where did most of your money go?
Towards new clothes for myself, and achievement as it’d something I have struggled to do for a long time

15: What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My birthday 🙂

16: What song will always remind you of 2015?
21 Pilots – Car Radio (triple layered)

17: Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? © richer or poorer?
Happier, healthier and able to actually spend the money I have on myself

18: What do you wish you’d done more of?
See my friends

19: What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worrying about things I have no control over

20: How did you spend Christmas?
Tired and in lipstick half the time

21: Did you fall in love in 2015?
I fell out of love and then in love with a certain girl…

22: What was your favourite TV program?
This program about the school in Harrow, I won’t let my family delete it 😀

23: Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t hate anyone but there are certainly people I respect less and dislike compared to this time last year

24: What was the best book you read?
A little in Love by Susan Fletcher

25: What was your greatest musical discovery?
Triple layered songs and Melanie Martinez, a very individual and weird artist

26: What did you want and get?
The ability to be happy

27: What did you want and not get?
Stability

28: What was your favourite film of this year?
About a boy

29: What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being out as Liam to the people who matter

30: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
Fashion concept?! What’s that? If it means what I wore it was a lot of simple ‘girly’ clothes but then more masculine and then more androgynous. The reasons for the change was realising I was really uncomfortable in the girly clothes and the masculine clothes gave me much more confidence. It changed to slightly more androgynous when I realised I didn’t need to dress to masculine just because I was a boy

31: What kept you sane?
My friends and family AND family friends! Especially a certain woman

32: Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
SCARLETT JOHANSSON

33: What political issue stirred you the most?
I don’t really know, a friend of mine has been affected very badly by the lack of money going to adult mental health services and I feel very strongly about that

34: Who did you miss?
My ex boyfriend and close friend that I think I’ve lost

35: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015
You have to let people help you

36: Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

And all those things I didn’t say, wrecking balls inside my brain – Fight song by Rachel Platten

Merry Christmas everyone!

Liam 🙂

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